Remember B, chronology mixed up, used pictures for quick reference identification.
I'm Subdeacon in the Mass every day of the week. I wear a cassock and surplice on certain days. The cassock is long Matrix-esque black coat complete with buttons from about ankle to neck. It takes some time to put on. The surplice is a white robe. I'm learning more about vestments. On other days (I'm still figuring out the liturgical appropriateness for each) where I act as Subdeacon I wear a tunicle on top of these two, and is nothing more than the poncho that peasants used to wear during Mass. It's funny how they're dressed up now, but also funny how some figure these vestments to be something prideful.
Mike introduced Father Stephen to me over lunch at Saint Louis Bread Company. Stephen is an orthodox priest who has a PhD in biology and taught for a long time before finding his vocation. We talked about Orthodoxy in doctrine, practice, etc. Mike sees much fruit in its practices and looks to Stephen for spiritual guidance. Stephen laughed about how he taught at a Lutheran university who questioned evolution and had a student give a sermon during chapel which put evolution into the category along with a number of unethical practices so as to include it as a cause for what is "wrong with the world today." It's funny to see a side of Christianity that embraces reason, the sciences, understands the inconsistencies of assuming gravity when you throw a baseball or watch the weather report but deny the same methodology applied to evolution -- or turn on our computers and cars assuming the logic used in programming and computer chips is right only to deny once dealing with God. Here within lies the secret to the traditional Christian denominations, we do not fear reason but have a long history of being its pioneers. We do not take Scripture as literal-historical when reading the NT but read OT as metaphorical once past Exodus. So much inconsistency in these modern Christian phenomenons. There is reason all about us, and God grants the intellect the grace to discover it. Anyway, the Orthodox Church according to Stephen works in such a way that there shouldn't be different ones in America, e.g. Romanian, Slavic, Greek, Coptic, etc. but rather there ought to be an Orthodox Church of America or American Orthodox Church according to their polity. However there has become a kind of ethnic mentality that has set in and kept them distinct, and who wants to give up their bishops, churchs, etc. once established through time, congregations, finances, etc. I'm sure each claims much good has come of them where they are at, and nothing else is needed. Who knows, maybe one day they'll all ban together and set it into one. It'll be interesting to learn more about our brothers.
I often find I become worried or nervous at my respective roles, and tend to botch things up while doing it. Not too bad, more often than not I forget things than mess things up. But Mike, the assistant rector and my supervisor, is very patient with me and only points out a few errors a day. I more often than not already know a few and recite them while we're returning to normal work wear before he can. We have three chapels in the church, Saint Michael's, Saint George's, and Saint Mary's. The first is for Sundays and is large enough to support them (400-600). The second is smaller and is used mostly by their student body during the year, and is a bit more "funkadelic" as Mike says, though clearly still catholic. Saint Mary's is a small room attached to Saint Michael's and I think, the most beautiful. It is used for daily prayer and daily Mass. The entrance is always open, two black, iron wrought gates with gold painted insignias on them. The room has enough seats for about 20 people. It is lit by candle light and you can reach out and touch the blue stained glass windows (which open to let in fresh air too!). I have different roles in the different chapels since each is used for different activities. So far I've been part of daily Mass having anywhere from one to about 20 people. Differing numbers give them different feels, especially on whether or not Mike decides to talk to the crowd during the homily -haha.
Daily Mass at the "cruise ship of retirement homes." Went well enough, I did everything except the Absolution if memory serves (not ordained baby). Met some wonderful people. I spoke with one lady whose name now escapes me to my shame, I said I would pray for her. And while this doesn't prohibit me, I wish I had a name for her face and words. In her old age she was finding a lack of faith, namely because of Christ's conception story. I moved the topic to creation and asked her about the possibilities and greatness of it. She agreed heartily and spoke a long while about how amazed she was at the world. Then I slid back into the "conceived by the Holy Spirit" bit and asked why it is so hard to imagine it as possible if one understand God created the universe. She said she'd think about it, but found it a fanciful story. No matter, as a firm believer in the sciences I believe God created the universe, but as our knowledge grows what this means exactly becomes all the more mysterious. Things like quantum theory's "indefinite states" makes the world a strange place indeed. (P.S. Just got out of a 2 hour conversation about Quantum Mechanics with my host Mark - who is a theoretical physicist and professor at Washington University. Man did I have a lot of things wrong, and man have people misunderstood and used it wrong :P) I mentioned this to Mike who told me she had mentioned her lack of faith, and Mike urged me not to bear it alone, but let the church shoulder some of the burden as well. Mike always seems to know the answers in such easy, gentle terms. I think he embodies more of the Eastern Orthodox spirituality than he thinks he does.
My seminarian stripe has fallen off my collar. The tailoring job was spotty so they're not going to bother replacing it unless it becomes a problem (e.g. I'm off trying to give sacraments). I'm only been called "father" once but I quickly explained that's not the case. More often than not I get odd looks, from the eyes, to the collar, then back up. The man who gave me my lunch today at St. Louis Bread Company (the founder of Panera I found out :P) looked at me for a moment then told me to have a blessed day. Mike tells me the collar is like a white movie screen, people project their hopes, fears, problems, histories, good, bad, ugly, and oddities onto it. That and young clergy are an anomaly. Luckily Mike and Andrew both are looking to train more early clergy. They staunchly believe it takes 6 years to make a priest, starting after ordination. They say it takes much longer to make a good one. Someone told me the church has made an error in letting in so many second career people into the priesthood, that they don't have enough time to do it well before retiring. I must admit, it inspires me that I might do this well before I'm 65, which I highly doubted before.
Mike took me along to two different hospital visits. Both had surgery to remove cancers. As we drove along he informed me of what priests do at visits. We ask them how they are, we don't be intrusive, we offer to pray, we don't stay more than five minutes. The last seemed cold for a priest. He explained, they are trying to heal, more often than not they are uncomfortable, tired, already have many guests, and need to time to heal properly with quiet and rest. I've heard a few times already that we a priest isn't everyone's best friend. Mike told me to "move" when serving the Eucharist, "we have a lot of people." Feels rushed, feels "cold?" Mike explains, "We're not giving them ourselves, we're giving the body and blood of Christ." Ah, there's the rub. Mike clarified that if person wants to talk, by all means, but don't assume it, wait for a sign. If they don't give one, pray, and get out. Perhaps with hospital visits it is the same as the Eucharist. We pray to God, we don't come to give ourselves. Then when I was in the kitchen after work I realized, "Does this mean the priest 'has' God to give?" The classical evangelical response. Then I remembered, the priesthood is a sacrament (I'm Anglo-Catholic), and sacraments are the means by which grace is conveyed. This collar is a yoke after all, but trustworthy is the saying that it is easier to bear. I wouldn't want to fancy myself the source of grace, simply a tool, a mule, nothing more. God I love how much the Episcopal Church makes sense.
The rector, Andrew, has assigned me a book on Bowen's Family Systems Theory. It seeks a "new" way founded in clinical experience to focus more on the complicated causality that goes into relationships, essentially that everything and everyone share in part of the causality. As a result they believe it most difficult to solve such issues for other, so focus on self is best. This is done by using non-emotional responses to people and opting for rational questions in dealing with problems. They claim this approach is not to be "distant" since removing oneself from the equation is equally an emotional response. I find it suspicious. It is nothing more than classical Socratic ethics put into psychological practice. I know first hand it doesn't always work so well. People sometimes hate you for wanting to continue the conversation without reacting emotionally. Perceptions run high that you are "distant" even though present, or that you are talking down to them. Time will tell if there's more detailed practical advice on such things.
We had mass at an extended care center. This included people with all sorts of physical and mental ailments that required these retired persons to need continual assistance and/or supervision. It was quite strange. Most of the persons had some sort of mental disability from old age, dementia, alzheimer's, you name it. In one respect I felt odd, like Mass was a sham, and questioned myself, "Can these people understand this or should we be approaching this a different way?" The people who assist them I'm sure have problems with basic communication sometimes. What were we going to do in one hour? The man who works there as chaplain could do no more than we could, and merely joined us in the liturgy. After some thought on this issue I resolved that we did what we had come to do, to give them God, not ourselves. This experience gave me a reductio ad absurdum of the sort of relational model as universal. Yes, our God is relational, yes a priest ought to be - when s/he can. But ordination is to be called to be a tool of God, not to be their God. The hammer doesn't have the capacity to become the carpenter anymore than vice versa, so to with God and priests. To enter the world and bring the Gospel to all must include a way to reach those beyond the reach of human means. I cannot reason with a severely mentally retarded person anymore than I can make a person in a vegetative coma feel or will something. The limits of the individual disallow some from ever being theologians, sages, prophets, and so forth - at least in this life. But what we can do is be the right hand of God, to give the body and blood of Christ to everyone. We aren't needed to give the grace of God, but God chose us to do so, so we respond. I put on the collar myself, I do not fight it like a newly tamed beast.
The youth minister's name is Isaac. He invited me to a Cardinal's game for his bachelor party with an extra ticket. How fortuitous. This was one of those box tickets that's all inclusive. We drank beer and ate nachos and all da' cookies. I learned how to catch the St. Louis train and met a bunch of seminarians from Concordia. Thems good peoples. At the game I spent much of my time talking to Buzz, the new assistant youth minister who will slowly take the reigns over some time. He's a graduate from that notorious Mars Hill Church who became an Episcopalian. He still dresses like he's young, and comes off not much older than 30. Buzz is a good man; we talked much about religion and life, vocation, the game, and how tasty everything was. Isaac married Samantha on Saturday. I served as Subdeacon but it was more of a watching fest for me. I was worried they might give me a chance to ruin these lovely people's wedding but luckily I held books and turned pages hahaha - it felt a bit ridiculous since I at least do something in other liturgies, but I learned much. In fact, I brought Mike back to where he was at one point, after he had looked up and lost his spot while tying the knot so I like to think I "saved the whole event" haha. I discovered "tying the knot" came from a literal practice which we observed whereby the priest took his stole, wrapped it around the couples' hands while praying to tie their hands together with a knot. This was the biggest wedding Mike and Andrew had ever seen at CSMSG. It was a full out liturgy with procession, hymns, and a Eucharist all took part in. Andrew gave an excellent sermon on the inability to predict how people would change, who you might wake up to tomorrow might not be who you thought you married, and the importance of saying "I will" versus "I do" when making that "vow." It was the greatest wedding I've ever seen. I was very fortunate to even observe. The reception was on the top floor of a pub, privately reserved, tons of good food and drinks. Later that night the self-proclaimed "semi-adults" of CSMSG abducted me to chit-chat. They're in the age range of 20-41, Samantha and Buzz being the limits. They were all married off which made me feel weird for about 5 minutes, and then the talking and jokes began. Wonderful night. Hung out with (in coupled form) Isaac and Samantha (newly weds), Garrett and Amber (Covenant seminarian and wife), Christie and Jake (youth choir director and husband), Kyle and Jean (PhD in theology and wife), Buzz and Jennie (youth minister and wife).
Mike bought me Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week: From the Entrance Into Jerusalem To the Resurrection. It's written by Pope Benedict XVI and is an interesting attempt to reconcile theology with the historical critical method into a coherent, academic, and spiritually honest and applicable book. He doesn't claim to have succeeded, but a lot of critics lauded him for his attempts and think it is a good step. It reads like something in between an academic work and a devotion, but uses the two appropriately without falling to the weaknesses of those in love with one to the neglect of the other.
Visited the Cathedral Basilica of Saint Louis. The whole thing is a mosaic, gold everywhere, finely carved stone, true craftsmanship. I'm always astounded when I see what artists can do when inspired by God, and it doesn't turn into the tawdry, overly explicit junk that modern Christian artists pump out. Sure, God appreciates any artwork a person makes as a sign of worship, but it doesn't follow that it's all equally as great. Here I think I have seen the true muse who has guided the hands of the faithful artist. After this we went to see the Episcopal Cathedral which was further into the city. I can't find an actual picture but it looks exactly like this at the altar. On the back of the church is a horribly ugly painting. Some contemporary depiction of Christ hanging on a cross, a man with a ladder climbs up in contemporary clothes to bring him down and a few others stand around weeping in jeans and t-shirts. Terribly ugly and mismatched to the rest of the church. One morning we also got breakfast and discussed school, eventually walked back to the church through the campus of a Lutheran seminary, Concordia. Beautiful architecture till you get to the chapel. The pews are an obnoxious turquoise dulled in vibrancy through years of use, the woodwork of the roof is a mahogany color with snow white pillars meeting them. There are some tacky banners of varying colors. The color palette in that place reminds me of vomit. But hey, get your worship on wherever, doesn't make it any less efficacious.
Andrew also wants me to read Merrily On High: An Anglo-Catholic Memoir. It is surprisingly intriguing for what would seem like such a dull topic. I don't care for biographies. I find peoples' lives to be boring reads. The man is recalling his youthful aspiration to be Anglo-Catholic, and his early obsession with the outward signs of the church. I'm learning an awful lot about earlier fights in the Church of England and a bit about England in general. Interestingly enough there were pro-Pope Anglicans in the Oxford Movement and some clergy as well as parishioners were outraged at either bringing the Book of Common Prayer more into the liturgy or as using its direction as sufficient in liturgies. We are a strange lot, always fighting tooth, nail, and claw to keep what has been the parish tradition. And then, once it changes, a 100 years down the line someone fights like a dog to keep things the way they are. I suppose Anglicans demand a good reason for change rather than swaying with the tides.
Today Garrett had come in to talk to Mike about holy orders. Garrett attends Covenant Seminary but discovered after his first semester he isn't a Presbyterian after all, but an Anglican. Mike asked if it was okay if he joined us in some of our summer activities. I thought it was an excellent idea and warmly welcomed him. Then Mike sent me on my first solo visit to the hospital. I was to go to Barnes-Jewish Rehabilitation center to visit Dr. Rosalyn England Henry. I was told she was in her 80's but didn't look a day over 50 or 60 by two people. I got lost and couldn't find the place despite it being within a few miles of the church. I returned frustrated as hell and remember angrily venting to God that I wish sometimes my stupidity could be for a reason. I got back in time to do daily Mass which calmed me to the point of forgetting about the event entirely. Garrett and Amber were at Mass so we talked after. Mike again mentioned him joining us with some more specifics and I again reaffirmed my answer. Then I remembered I had to go to the hospital and invited him along. He agreed and we set the time for 1:30. I went about my day until Noon Prayer rolled around and quietly visited the chapel. After putting my own supplications into the liturgy it struck me. I might have messed up earlier in finding the hospital but at least now Garrett would be able to join me. Answered prayers make me laugh at myself, and I often end such realizations in prayer with an outward, "I'm such a fool" as I walk away. So Garrett an I went. I repeated to him what Mike had told me concerning hospital visits. We checked in, introduced ourselves to Rosalyn, to which she quickly informed me we had already met. I apologized and explained I had met many people. We didn't ask her what was wrong as Mike told me it might be inappropriate or uncomfortable for them depending on the circumstances, but she pointed out a cast on her arm. We offered to pray for her and she agreed and asked if we would also pray for her sweetmate Ade James. (I spell from memory - I wonder if her name was Adeline and this was short for it like my Wesley friend in Athens.) I said a short prayer, asked her if there was anything else we could do for her to which she responded "prayer." We said goodbye and I dropped Garrett off. No more than 3 minutes. Mike said "perfect" at my report. It still seems strange, but I understand the reasoning, and it makes more sense than forcing yourself onto someone. "Give them God, not yourself." And Rosalyn repeated "prayer" when I asked her at the beginning and ending of our meeting concerning what we could do. It seemed fitting after everything was said and done.
Today I started reading Venerable Bede's An Ecclesiastical History of the English People. I keep referring to the map in the front to understand the power shifts in terms of geography. He has a very beautiful style that is both intriguing and easy to follow. Though some of his history has since been known to have error, he makes his sources known and quotes them. More often than not it's often small errors, e.g. his dates have been off by 1-2 years a few times. Not bad. I'm early on in it and am learning about the relationship between the Britons, Angles, Saxons, Jutes, Picts, Irish, and Rome. It's bringing out my appreciation for history again. My (soon-to-be) advisor, Jo Wells, tells me in her lovely British accent, "You can't understand Anglicanism without reading about its history [mentioning this work]." In other news I couldn't find a decent coffee shop in town. Eventually ran on a Starbucks, the place is in downtown Clayton and closed at 7pm. What kind of coffee joint closes before midnight?
I'm Subdeacon in the Mass every day of the week. I wear a cassock and surplice on certain days. The cassock is long Matrix-esque black coat complete with buttons from about ankle to neck. It takes some time to put on. The surplice is a white robe. I'm learning more about vestments. On other days (I'm still figuring out the liturgical appropriateness for each) where I act as Subdeacon I wear a tunicle on top of these two, and is nothing more than the poncho that peasants used to wear during Mass. It's funny how they're dressed up now, but also funny how some figure these vestments to be something prideful.Mike introduced Father Stephen to me over lunch at Saint Louis Bread Company. Stephen is an orthodox priest who has a PhD in biology and taught for a long time before finding his vocation. We talked about Orthodoxy in doctrine, practice, etc. Mike sees much fruit in its practices and looks to Stephen for spiritual guidance. Stephen laughed about how he taught at a Lutheran university who questioned evolution and had a student give a sermon during chapel which put evolution into the category along with a number of unethical practices so as to include it as a cause for what is "wrong with the world today." It's funny to see a side of Christianity that embraces reason, the sciences, understands the inconsistencies of assuming gravity when you throw a baseball or watch the weather report but deny the same methodology applied to evolution -- or turn on our computers and cars assuming the logic used in programming and computer chips is right only to deny once dealing with God. Here within lies the secret to the traditional Christian denominations, we do not fear reason but have a long history of being its pioneers. We do not take Scripture as literal-historical when reading the NT but read OT as metaphorical once past Exodus. So much inconsistency in these modern Christian phenomenons. There is reason all about us, and God grants the intellect the grace to discover it. Anyway, the Orthodox Church according to Stephen works in such a way that there shouldn't be different ones in America, e.g. Romanian, Slavic, Greek, Coptic, etc. but rather there ought to be an Orthodox Church of America or American Orthodox Church according to their polity. However there has become a kind of ethnic mentality that has set in and kept them distinct, and who wants to give up their bishops, churchs, etc. once established through time, congregations, finances, etc. I'm sure each claims much good has come of them where they are at, and nothing else is needed. Who knows, maybe one day they'll all ban together and set it into one. It'll be interesting to learn more about our brothers.I often find I become worried or nervous at my respective roles, and tend to botch things up while doing it. Not too bad, more often than not I forget things than mess things up. But Mike, the assistant rector and my supervisor, is very patient with me and only points out a few errors a day. I more often than not already know a few and recite them while we're returning to normal work wear before he can. We have three chapels in the church, Saint Michael's, Saint George's, and Saint Mary's. The first is for Sundays and is large enough to support them (400-600). The second is smaller and is used mostly by their student body during the year, and is a bit more "funkadelic" as Mike says, though clearly still catholic. Saint Mary's is a small room attached to Saint Michael's and I think, the most beautiful. It is used for daily prayer and daily Mass. The entrance is always open, two black, iron wrought gates with gold painted insignias on them. The room has enough seats for about 20 people. It is lit by candle light and you can reach out and touch the blue stained glass windows (which open to let in fresh air too!). I have different roles in the different chapels since each is used for different activities. So far I've been part of daily Mass having anywhere from one to about 20 people. Differing numbers give them different feels, especially on whether or not Mike decides to talk to the crowd during the homily -haha. Daily Mass at the "cruise ship of retirement homes." Went well enough, I did everything except the Absolution if memory serves (not ordained baby). Met some wonderful people. I spoke with one lady whose name now escapes me to my shame, I said I would pray for her. And while this doesn't prohibit me, I wish I had a name for her face and words. In her old age she was finding a lack of faith, namely because of Christ's conception story. I moved the topic to creation and asked her about the possibilities and greatness of it. She agreed heartily and spoke a long while about how amazed she was at the world. Then I slid back into the "conceived by the Holy Spirit" bit and asked why it is so hard to imagine it as possible if one understand God created the universe. She said she'd think about it, but found it a fanciful story. No matter, as a firm believer in the sciences I believe God created the universe, but as our knowledge grows what this means exactly becomes all the more mysterious. Things like quantum theory's "indefinite states" makes the world a strange place indeed. (P.S. Just got out of a 2 hour conversation about Quantum Mechanics with my host Mark - who is a theoretical physicist and professor at Washington University. Man did I have a lot of things wrong, and man have people misunderstood and used it wrong :P) I mentioned this to Mike who told me she had mentioned her lack of faith, and Mike urged me not to bear it alone, but let the church shoulder some of the burden as well. Mike always seems to know the answers in such easy, gentle terms. I think he embodies more of the Eastern Orthodox spirituality than he thinks he does.My seminarian stripe has fallen off my collar. The tailoring job was spotty so they're not going to bother replacing it unless it becomes a problem (e.g. I'm off trying to give sacraments). I'm only been called "father" once but I quickly explained that's not the case. More often than not I get odd looks, from the eyes, to the collar, then back up. The man who gave me my lunch today at St. Louis Bread Company (the founder of Panera I found out :P) looked at me for a moment then told me to have a blessed day. Mike tells me the collar is like a white movie screen, people project their hopes, fears, problems, histories, good, bad, ugly, and oddities onto it. That and young clergy are an anomaly. Luckily Mike and Andrew both are looking to train more early clergy. They staunchly believe it takes 6 years to make a priest, starting after ordination. They say it takes much longer to make a good one. Someone told me the church has made an error in letting in so many second career people into the priesthood, that they don't have enough time to do it well before retiring. I must admit, it inspires me that I might do this well before I'm 65, which I highly doubted before.The rector, Andrew, has assigned me a book on Bowen's Family Systems Theory. It seeks a "new" way founded in clinical experience to focus more on the complicated causality that goes into relationships, essentially that everything and everyone share in part of the causality. As a result they believe it most difficult to solve such issues for other, so focus on self is best. This is done by using non-emotional responses to people and opting for rational questions in dealing with problems. They claim this approach is not to be "distant" since removing oneself from the equation is equally an emotional response. I find it suspicious. It is nothing more than classical Socratic ethics put into psychological practice. I know first hand it doesn't always work so well. People sometimes hate you for wanting to continue the conversation without reacting emotionally. Perceptions run high that you are "distant" even though present, or that you are talking down to them. Time will tell if there's more detailed practical advice on such things. We had mass at an extended care center. This included people with all sorts of physical and mental ailments that required these retired persons to need continual assistance and/or supervision. It was quite strange. Most of the persons had some sort of mental disability from old age, dementia, alzheimer's, you name it. In one respect I felt odd, like Mass was a sham, and questioned myself, "Can these people understand this or should we be approaching this a different way?" The people who assist them I'm sure have problems with basic communication sometimes. What were we going to do in one hour? The man who works there as chaplain could do no more than we could, and merely joined us in the liturgy. After some thought on this issue I resolved that we did what we had come to do, to give them God, not ourselves. This experience gave me a reductio ad absurdum of the sort of relational model as universal. Yes, our God is relational, yes a priest ought to be - when s/he can. But ordination is to be called to be a tool of God, not to be their God. The hammer doesn't have the capacity to become the carpenter anymore than vice versa, so to with God and priests. To enter the world and bring the Gospel to all must include a way to reach those beyond the reach of human means. I cannot reason with a severely mentally retarded person anymore than I can make a person in a vegetative coma feel or will something. The limits of the individual disallow some from ever being theologians, sages, prophets, and so forth - at least in this life. But what we can do is be the right hand of God, to give the body and blood of Christ to everyone. We aren't needed to give the grace of God, but God chose us to do so, so we respond. I put on the collar myself, I do not fight it like a newly tamed beast. The youth minister's name is Isaac. He invited me to a Cardinal's game for his bachelor party with an extra ticket. How fortuitous. This was one of those box tickets that's all inclusive. We drank beer and ate nachos and all da' cookies. I learned how to catch the St. Louis train and met a bunch of seminarians from Concordia. Thems good peoples. At the game I spent much of my time talking to Buzz, the new assistant youth minister who will slowly take the reigns over some time. He's a graduate from that notorious Mars Hill Church who became an Episcopalian. He still dresses like he's young, and comes off not much older than 30. Buzz is a good man; we talked much about religion and life, vocation, the game, and how tasty everything was. Isaac married Samantha on Saturday. I served as Subdeacon but it was more of a watching fest for me. I was worried they might give me a chance to ruin these lovely people's wedding but luckily I held books and turned pages hahaha - it felt a bit ridiculous since I at least do something in other liturgies, but I learned much. In fact, I brought Mike back to where he was at one point, after he had looked up and lost his spot while tying the knot so I like to think I "saved the whole event" haha. I discovered "tying the knot" came from a literal practice which we observed whereby the priest took his stole, wrapped it around the couples' hands while praying to tie their hands together with a knot. This was the biggest wedding Mike and Andrew had ever seen at CSMSG. It was a full out liturgy with procession, hymns, and a Eucharist all took part in. Andrew gave an excellent sermon on the inability to predict how people would change, who you might wake up to tomorrow might not be who you thought you married, and the importance of saying "I will" versus "I do" when making that "vow." It was the greatest wedding I've ever seen. I was very fortunate to even observe. The reception was on the top floor of a pub, privately reserved, tons of good food and drinks. Later that night the self-proclaimed "semi-adults" of CSMSG abducted me to chit-chat. They're in the age range of 20-41, Samantha and Buzz being the limits. They were all married off which made me feel weird for about 5 minutes, and then the talking and jokes began. Wonderful night. Hung out with (in coupled form) Isaac and Samantha (newly weds), Garrett and Amber (Covenant seminarian and wife), Christie and Jake (youth choir director and husband), Kyle and Jean (PhD in theology and wife), Buzz and Jennie (youth minister and wife).Mike bought me Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week: From the Entrance Into Jerusalem To the Resurrection. It's written by Pope Benedict XVI and is an interesting attempt to reconcile theology with the historical critical method into a coherent, academic, and spiritually honest and applicable book. He doesn't claim to have succeeded, but a lot of critics lauded him for his attempts and think it is a good step. It reads like something in between an academic work and a devotion, but uses the two appropriately without falling to the weaknesses of those in love with one to the neglect of the other.Visited the Cathedral Basilica of Saint Louis. The whole thing is a mosaic, gold everywhere, finely carved stone, true craftsmanship. I'm always astounded when I see what artists can do when inspired by God, and it doesn't turn into the tawdry, overly explicit junk that modern Christian artists pump out. Sure, God appreciates any artwork a person makes as a sign of worship, but it doesn't follow that it's all equally as great. Here I think I have seen the true muse who has guided the hands of the faithful artist. After this we went to see the Episcopal Cathedral which was further into the city. I can't find an actual picture but it looks exactly like this at the altar. On the back of the church is a horribly ugly painting. Some contemporary depiction of Christ hanging on a cross, a man with a ladder climbs up in contemporary clothes to bring him down and a few others stand around weeping in jeans and t-shirts. Terribly ugly and mismatched to the rest of the church. One morning we also got breakfast and discussed school, eventually walked back to the church through the campus of a Lutheran seminary, Concordia. Beautiful architecture till you get to the chapel. The pews are an obnoxious turquoise dulled in vibrancy through years of use, the woodwork of the roof is a mahogany color with snow white pillars meeting them. There are some tacky banners of varying colors. The color palette in that place reminds me of vomit. But hey, get your worship on wherever, doesn't make it any less efficacious.Andrew also wants me to read Merrily On High: An Anglo-Catholic Memoir. It is surprisingly intriguing for what would seem like such a dull topic. I don't care for biographies. I find peoples' lives to be boring reads. The man is recalling his youthful aspiration to be Anglo-Catholic, and his early obsession with the outward signs of the church. I'm learning an awful lot about earlier fights in the Church of England and a bit about England in general. Interestingly enough there were pro-Pope Anglicans in the Oxford Movement and some clergy as well as parishioners were outraged at either bringing the Book of Common Prayer more into the liturgy or as using its direction as sufficient in liturgies. We are a strange lot, always fighting tooth, nail, and claw to keep what has been the parish tradition. And then, once it changes, a 100 years down the line someone fights like a dog to keep things the way they are. I suppose Anglicans demand a good reason for change rather than swaying with the tides. Today Garrett had come in to talk to Mike about holy orders. Garrett attends Covenant Seminary but discovered after his first semester he isn't a Presbyterian after all, but an Anglican. Mike asked if it was okay if he joined us in some of our summer activities. I thought it was an excellent idea and warmly welcomed him. Then Mike sent me on my first solo visit to the hospital. I was to go to Barnes-Jewish Rehabilitation center to visit Dr. Rosalyn England Henry. I was told she was in her 80's but didn't look a day over 50 or 60 by two people. I got lost and couldn't find the place despite it being within a few miles of the church. I returned frustrated as hell and remember angrily venting to God that I wish sometimes my stupidity could be for a reason. I got back in time to do daily Mass which calmed me to the point of forgetting about the event entirely. Garrett and Amber were at Mass so we talked after. Mike again mentioned him joining us with some more specifics and I again reaffirmed my answer. Then I remembered I had to go to the hospital and invited him along. He agreed and we set the time for 1:30. I went about my day until Noon Prayer rolled around and quietly visited the chapel. After putting my own supplications into the liturgy it struck me. I might have messed up earlier in finding the hospital but at least now Garrett would be able to join me. Answered prayers make me laugh at myself, and I often end such realizations in prayer with an outward, "I'm such a fool" as I walk away. So Garrett an I went. I repeated to him what Mike had told me concerning hospital visits. We checked in, introduced ourselves to Rosalyn, to which she quickly informed me we had already met. I apologized and explained I had met many people. We didn't ask her what was wrong as Mike told me it might be inappropriate or uncomfortable for them depending on the circumstances, but she pointed out a cast on her arm. We offered to pray for her and she agreed and asked if we would also pray for her sweetmate Ade James. (I spell from memory - I wonder if her name was Adeline and this was short for it like my Wesley friend in Athens.) I said a short prayer, asked her if there was anything else we could do for her to which she responded "prayer." We said goodbye and I dropped Garrett off. No more than 3 minutes. Mike said "perfect" at my report. It still seems strange, but I understand the reasoning, and it makes more sense than forcing yourself onto someone. "Give them God, not yourself." And Rosalyn repeated "prayer" when I asked her at the beginning and ending of our meeting concerning what we could do. It seemed fitting after everything was said and done.Today I started reading Venerable Bede's An Ecclesiastical History of the English People. I keep referring to the map in the front to understand the power shifts in terms of geography. He has a very beautiful style that is both intriguing and easy to follow. Though some of his history has since been known to have error, he makes his sources known and quotes them. More often than not it's often small errors, e.g. his dates have been off by 1-2 years a few times. Not bad. I'm early on in it and am learning about the relationship between the Britons, Angles, Saxons, Jutes, Picts, Irish, and Rome. It's bringing out my appreciation for history again. My (soon-to-be) advisor, Jo Wells, tells me in her lovely British accent, "You can't understand Anglicanism without reading about its history [mentioning this work]." In other news I couldn't find a decent coffee shop in town. Eventually ran on a Starbucks, the place is in downtown Clayton and closed at 7pm. What kind of coffee joint closes before midnight?
